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I often refer my friends and acquaintances who had seen me on the street. I never see anyone, it 'of course greeting.
In general I have always walked with his head down. I remember when my mother took me to kindergarten, he walked down the village hated by my house and one of the reasons for asylum applicants in the Po valley was sad mornings that I had to pull her head up.

schissa I wanted her head for several reasons. Innanzittuo since birth I've tried always a shame congenital probably the result of some previous life foul. So for fear of facing the people, kept his head bowed. Secondly I do not know, but I think that, having flat feet and "walk the strange", I tend to stumble easily and therefore a bit 'of extra attention I always do. Fortunately

shame congenital 'was transformed into bravado molesta in age' behaviors and adolescent bipolar during subsequent aging.

At this stage of ripening pear 'and' added another factor. Me and 'down the view. I see little, since I've got no patience I resigned myself to not watch. Do not wear glasses 'cause I'm uncomfortable and do not wear the lenses' cause I'm uncomfortable. So vague in this world with borders smerdolati where people are more 'or less the same. Lately
then I got down to the street with headphones and only the loud music. It seems then to lock yourself in a virtual cocoon.



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last night after a busy day, I struggled to sleep and I turn over in bed beset by thoughts of all commitments and problems. At one point, I have agreed the level of isolation that I was able to create me in the past three years. I put the world at the door and I locked myself in a life of books, work, study, work, work. My Russian friends do not see them most '. Some are no longer 'here and there are those who do not have time to see them. I do not keep contact with almost anyone and if I wanted to keep them. I would not. I do not have the time and material power to make a phone call. If I have half an hour of sleep time. To my phone once a month and I do not know if people are more 'suited to understand. I hid them so many things about myself that I wonder if they know who I am. Or am I just that I hate to hide.
Friends of the bridge that I left them I was 18, even if we pretend to be friends. But you can 'to be so' far?

One more month of work. Dai. Then a month of one university '. Then we'll see what to do. Sometimes I fear that I really ruined my life.

I close my life, I blind me, I isolate myself, I wipe.

pulled the blanket that I sleep here with the quilt all year and I close my eyes and gil turo ears e vorrei svegliarmi domani e scoprire che non sono vera ma il personaggio di un sogno di qualcunaltro.

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Beat The Wall The Programme

Sento la malattia quasi alle spalle e sento davanti a me la montagna Everest da scalare. Ho cosi' tante cose da fare e a cui pensare che ho paura di diventare pazza.
Guardo l'agendina e cerco di pianificare la mia vita nei due mesi a venire e non riesco a fare combaciare nulla. Non avro' tempo di vedere nessuno. Di fare nulla.

Una cosa per volta. Una cosa per volta. Oggi la tesina. Lunedi' dal mio coordinatore a prendere i dati per the thesis. Then study for the examination of International Organizations. Then Israel. Damn me and when I decided to guns around the world.
am happy to be with friends but I'll be 'out like a balcony because of all the things I do. Maybe we will run away even a job interview in Tel Aviv. Then

Amsterdam and the thesis and examination. And the second interview. How will '? The company decided not to fly me to their headquarters in Moscow for the interview. I do this in the Dutch headquarters. How will '? I wonder? Then Juli by me a couple of days. Then the last giant exams to prepare while I empty the house and rent. And then I'll have 'at least to see my parents and tell them, we say that we are dancing a bit' of cose.

Mia madre ci stara' malissimo.


La testa a mulinello ripete questa sequenza di cose. Basta. Devo scrivere la tesina. Basta.

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Hanno scippato la bambina con il vecchio trucco a mio avviso tutto italiano: lo scippo dal motorino in corsa. L'anno scippata e fatta cascare come un sacco di patate. La cosa sarebbe stata brutta di suo, se non fosse che la bambina teneva nella borsa chiavi e documenti.

Mi ha comnicato il fattaccio mentre ero sulla via di casa e lei stava dalla polizia. A quel punto non volevo piu' entrare in casa perche' gia' mi immaginavo i ladri che stavano facendo manbassa di ogni cosa nell'appartamento e non aspettavano altro che assassinarmi al mio ritorno. Alla fine I waited until the girl returned by the police and we entered with caution. Since the thieves obviously had not yet arrived, we were barricaded in houses waiting to power the locks changed the next day.

The girl was shocked and felt like chalk. Only with dilated pupils. I jump like a grasshopper and I said, that hurts the peeling on the knee? Want to cry? You cry, you cry from. Are you hungry? Be the bathroom? You put the patch? Are you afraid? I was about to reach its climax when the door and 'presented another compagnetta school. Rory.
Rory and 'appearance at 10 pm, with obvious consequences to fight with boyfriend, in tears and with a powerful influence viral vomiting.

Cosi 'me are put on the couch. In a state of shock and the other in a state of vomiting. One stared at each other and crying and spitting. A situational picture of urban life.

until 2 am to do group therapy.

This morning I turned upside down. Little sleep, a deluge of things to do for the universities' and the usual thoughts for the job. In more 'fear of influenza infection by vomiting. Then I open-access statistics of the counts and see that someone with the IP address of my company read my blog and I get the look of plaster and retching at me.

But who can 'be? Better not to think about and focus shifts in guarding the door until the arrival of the locksmith.

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And so 'is ending even this academic experience. The children, my compagnetti course, are all confused because it closes a cycle that do not know what to do or think.

Moreover, as I will explain that some things are not learned and that every time that life puts in front of a choice, well, every holy time arose as the first time. I do not e'che capacity of more '.... E'inutile And I come to talk to their teens from hopeful eyes, as if you were the oracle at Delphi.

Ogni tanto mi chiedo se avessi fatto meglio a fare quel famoso MBA a cui ero stata ammessa. Invece di ricominciare l’università con tutto questi bambini ventenni non ancora sporchi di vita. Il dubbio mi viene, mi viene. Ma una risposta no.

Devo assolutamente iniziare una tesi per potere laurearmi il prima possibile. Mi sembra che tutti abbiamo trovato un titolo. Anche gli studenti piu’ loffi. Tutti tranne me.

Ieri, siccome soffrivo ancora di this strange weakness and Lila was indisposed, instead of the usual pool we decided to do a tour of the houses close the center. Jona joined us. He made his usual provocative icebreaker jokes that luckily did not have the disproportionate impact that I feared. An evening sweet and light as I did not live for years. I vented at length about the new boyfriend of the girl and her rejection of Jona well as former best friend of the girl's new boyfriend in her rejection. Lila e'sorbita every complaint and I think he enjoyed too, 'cause every time I suggested to pay the bill said "Come on ... we are still a bit' ...

And I and Jona via a pull down against the saints and madonnas boyfriend of the child. Some pastimes are intergenerational and unwind when you're blown away by life.